Torne Apart

I know this blog of mine is a secret device of emanating the most toxic things that are happening with in me. I hate the current situation that i am going through for the matter of fact i never thought that i will be subject to such a situation. The propositions i had earlier were all welcoming and assuring, i thought that things will be better them as well. But i was wrong about it the whole concept on the basis of which the life revolves is completely missing. The trust and the respect are the two most vital thing in a relationship. They are the factors which help bind or mend a relationship.Relationship are like double edged sword when in extremes may create or destroy. This very blog is the creation of a magical relation that surfaced for a wile and went under ground. But why will a person i mean your partner tore you apart and share the whole story to a person who is not a family member.

I am being exposed by my dear partner to the world who is always ready to know what bad has happened to you. and is always ready to say kya chutiya hai yaar. Its a chutiytich situation for me now. why don't people understand that they are not aways right. I cant afford to stay with the god stay with the person who is perfect. I just have to stay my way. Its only one reason why i am trapped once i ensure a better future for him i shall just walk out of it. My heart is clouded now thoughts and emotions that i almost feel claustrophobic. I need to breathe, oh mercy help me with the way out of it, i just cant believe of staying with that person any more.

A way shall be carved.....

"no stick policy"

I had got into the habbit of putting my toughts through words dont know if that right or wrong. But i prefer it that ways. Over a period of time the happy realisation acquired is to not follow the "stick policy" yes Lets Go on!!!! is the phrase. Never did i think that i will be getting commited......but i was wrong and i could only realise this fact after i gave an oppurtunity for worst episodes to vanish. Bad time also have to go he is much eager to leave, its just that we ask him to stay. We hold upon to it unneccesarily.

Rain

Rains makes me wet
And with memories I am left
Rains make me sweat
And reminds me of action infinite
Rains make me hate
The touch I cannot forget
Rains agitate
The more I think the less I get
Rains teaches a lesson
Cleanse and get ready for the season
The season of infatuation
The season full of existence
Rains give me the motive
The motive to subsist

Composing

I see symphonies in the clouds,
violin bows drifting in ancient time,
my mind's eye time lapses -
and the music plays as I watch.

A synthetic wind from passing cars
blows my hair keeping time,
it metronomes my cheek
silently keeping the rythmn.

My soul makes this music from nothing,
out of the day I play internally,
the notes unsounded aloud --
are still astonishingly beautiful.

Purely coincidental as it may seem

Purely coincidental as it seems
Incidences are not just they seem
Nothing just happens
Everything that happens has a reason
And therefore…..I am alive too
Purely coincidental as it may seem

Broken hearts and tears around
Note the coincidence that surrounds
If you cannot face the pain
Your old self....You'll never regain!
You might blame it on the game
But if you don’t learn...the incident might happen again
Purely coincidental as it may seem

I remember the time I met her,
I remember the eyes that looked into mine!
But the thought of coincidence, refrained my heart,
And now with wounded heart my eyes rain...
Don't blame it on just happening things
Life is not coincidence as it may seem.

Lot 56

It was Sotheby’s
where they sold off
the last of you and me.

You stunned me
with it, breathless,
it’s nothing,
you said.

I would scarcely admit it,
how deep it touched me,
how I ran my fingers over it -
something for my Doll.

Dark brown
to match your eyes,
and I smiled that smile
that you love.

Long after there were nights
I held onto it, a glimmer
in my eyes, as I missed
and missed you.

My Love Life

I am just a black eyed tragedy,
surrounded by luck in everything
except love, in this I crash and burn.

I never seem to be able to love
someone enough, or is it -
that I love too much, either way...

I lose and lose and when I think
I can't lose anymore I lose again,
my heart is never free.. always it dictates.

Orders passed down through lifetimes,
cosmic imperatives, mystic objectives
that must come to be in this universe,

These things lead me back to you,
and I can't give you up even though
I've tried, but in reality - its simple --

I just can't bare to part with you,
I don't want to be without you -
Its like a sunflower trying to live without the sun.

I need you to make sense of my day,
to understand how I remember things
I couldn't possibly know, and yet I do.

Save me from myself, pick me up
once again like I am the only thing
that matters, wipe away the soot.